Saturday, November 20, 2010

"i'm sorry" (said without whimpering) she sat on the floor, her skirts a tumble. she twisted her cold hands in her lap. she didn't dare to make eye contact. the tears were warm behind her eyes but she couldn't allow them to fall. she waited for his judgement - she knew it would be fair no matter how sever.

breathing hurt. all sense of time dissipated. she wondered if she should repeat herself. she thought not.

he moved a step closer to her. she glanced up to his knees. she wanted to throw herself at his feet. begging, was beneath her (no matter how much she longed to touch him). he sighed.

"why won't you look at me? am i that ugly?"

she thought he sounded defeated. this was not the conversation she thought they would be having. where is his strength, she thought? where is the man she feared (and adored)?

"you've never requested me to treat you so plainly". spoken soft.

another sigh.

"you love me?"

"perhaps."

"yet you know nothing about me. even after all of these years."

he sat cross-legged in front of her. his long, pale fingers touched her chin. his skin was warm. she melted into his touch.

don't look at him! her voice screamed (lodged in her head). everything will change if you do. think fondly of him, scribble in your notes about him but know, you both will lose more than you will gain!

she knew this was truth. but, oh. his skin smelled like long nights (and cinnamon?).

racing heart help me!

when she met his eyes


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